Scorecard for Triumvirate II

FINAL SCORECARD (Out of 10)

1. Concept & Originality — Score: 9 / 10

• A sitting U.S. President secretly being a demon gives the political-thriller premise an immediate high-concept hook.

• The supernatural element is not merely decorative: Ethen’s powers directly enable his political agenda, making the mythology part of the dramatic machinery.

• The story expands the first film’s supernatural conflict into government, Congress, Europe, organised crime and the military without abandoning the central battle between Ethen and Hamidi.

• The Black Seal of the Seven Winds gives the sequel its own distinctive supernatural device and prevents Hamidi from simply overpowering the antagonist.

• The premise feels larger than the first Triumvirate while remaining recognisably part of the same world.

The combination of political authoritarianism, supernatural horror and international conspiracy gives the screenplay a strong commercial identity.

​

2. World-Building & Scale — Score: 9 / 10

• The screenplay moves confidently between Washington, New York, Ethiopia, Colombia, London and Europe.

• The White House, Congress, CEB Tower, Winston’s Virginia home and the Ethiopian village each serve a different dramatic function rather than simply widening the geography.

• Ethen's rise is shown through institutions as well as spectacle: legislation, government appointments, media, security forces and international political influence.

• The mythology continues to expand through the Seal, Hamidi's unexplained longevity, Meti's emerging powers and Cerberus without stopping the film for lengthy exposition.

• The closing return to Ethiopia and Lake Tana effectively contrasts the political machinery of Washington with the older spiritual world surrounding Hamidi.

The scale feels genuinely international while still revolving around a small group of central characters.

​

3. Ethen Prest — Score: 9.5 / 10

• Ethen is the screenplay's dominant dramatic presence.

• He is most effective because he rarely behaves like a conventional raging villain. He can be charming, amused, presidential and casually monstrous within the same scene.

• His congressional speech turns authoritarianism into political theatre, culminating in the memorable “One nation. One purpose. One voice.” refrain.

• The Black Seal makes him physically formidable enough to defeat Hamidi while also giving his power limitations.

• His threats against Hamidi become increasingly personal through Meti, preventing the story from remaining purely geopolitical.

• His eventual transformation into the Serpent provides the physical manifestation promised by the character's mythology.

He feels like a genuine sequel antagonist rather than simply a larger version of the threat from the first film.

​

4. Cathleen Henshaw & Hamidi Abdullahi — Score: 9 / 10

• The sequel strengthens their partnership considerably.

• Cathleen refuses to remain protected or sidelined and establishes her agency early: “Then trust me.”

• Hamidi retains his calm, enigmatic authority but is made vulnerable when the Seal defeats him and Ethen takes Meti.

• Importantly, Hamidi does not solve everything. He ultimately needs Cathleen, George, Winston and Meti.

• Cathleen evolves into the operational protagonist of the final act: locating the Seal, infiltrating the White House and ultimately firing the shot that destroys Ethen.

• Hamidi's contribution remains essential because his supernatural strength buys Cathleen the seconds she needs.

Their relationship has moved beyond believer/sceptic into genuine mutual dependence.

​

5. Supporting Characters — Score: 8.8 / 10

• George Kelso has a particularly effective progression from cynical journalist and observer to someone willing to become personally involved.

• Winston Burnie arrives relatively late but immediately has personality, history and dramatic utility.

• His Gulf War story expands Hamidi's mythology while explaining Winston's loyalty without giving definitive answers about Hamidi's nature.

• Winston's mercury ammunition is a strong setup/payoff device: the bullets are introduced naturally through character interaction rather than simply handed to Cathleen immediately before the climax.

• Meti evolves beyond being merely Hamidi's endangered daughter; her composure and emerging supernatural ability give her significance beyond the kidnapping plot.

• Donny provides an effective bridge between Cathleen's previous FBI world and her fugitive existence, making his murder carry genuine narrative consequence.

• Marilyn and Jane operate effectively as Ethen's demonic extensions rather than competing with him for narrative space.

The ensemble is large, but the major supporting characters generally have identifiable dramatic functions and voices.

​

6. Dialogue & Character Voice — Score: 9 / 10

• Ethen's dialogue is polished, theatrical and frequently amused by his own cruelty.

• Cathleen remains blunt, practical and sardonic.

• Hamidi speaks with controlled formality and philosophical restraint.

• Winston sounds completely different again — earthy, irreverent and conversational.

• George has the dry scepticism of a journalist who has seen too much.

• Dialogue frequently establishes relationships without overt exposition. The Winston/Cathleen ammunition scene is a good example: “That shit you normally use ain't gonna cut the mustard” immediately sounds like Winston rather than generic screenplay dialogue.

• Humour appears in precisely the right places and prevents the increasingly apocalyptic material becoming monotonously solemn.

The principal characters can generally be identified from their dialogue even without the character heading.

​

7. Structure & Pacing — Score: 9 / 10

• The opening retrieval of the Seal establishes supernatural danger immediately.

• Ethen's inauguration establishes the political threat.

• The American Renewal Act then turns rhetoric into action, giving the first act a clear escalation rather than delaying the central premise.

• The middle section continues widening the danger — Donny's murder, Hamidi's failed White House confrontation, Colombia, Meti's abduction and European expansion.

• Hamidi's defeat is particularly valuable structurally because it removes the apparent easy solution.

• The final act cleverly splits responsibilities: Meti must be rescued, the Seal must be removed, communications must be disrupted and Ethen must ultimately be confronted.

• At roughly 100 pages, the screenplay feels lean for the amount of story it carries.

There is a great deal happening, but the plot rarely feels directionless because almost every strand ultimately feeds Ethen's rise or his defeat.

​

8. Theme & Cohesion — Score: 9 / 10

• The strongest theme is the surrender of personal responsibility in exchange for certainty.

• Ethen does not merely conquer people; he gives them reasons to welcome what he offers.

• The American Renewal Act turns that theme into political action.

• The Seal literalises ideological surrender by removing resistance while leaving victims outwardly functional.

• Cathleen represents the opposite idea: action, choice and personal responsibility.

• Hamidi's final statement — “Our destinies are determined by our actions” — therefore grows naturally from the story rather than functioning as an arbitrary philosophical closing remark.

• Destroying Ethen is not enough; Hamidi also rejects the temptation to retain the Seal's power by disposing of it permanently.

The supernatural mythology and the political theme reinforce one another unusually well.

​

9. Emotional & Dramatic Impact — Score: 8.7 / 10

• Meti gives Hamidi's conflict a personal stake that the global political plot alone could not provide.

• Her captivity is unsettling precisely because the script does not overplay it; the hooded-chair introduction is stark and simple.

• Donny's death gives George and Cathleen a human cost to carry through the remainder of the story.

• Ajani's death gives the Ethiopian ending emotional weight.

• The quiet breakfast at Winston's after the climax provides necessary decompression rather than cutting directly from spectacle to resolution.

• George's acknowledgement that a possible Pulitzer means little without Donny keeps victory from feeling triumphant in a simplistic way.

• The graveyard sequence allows the cost of the conflict to register before the final mythology beat.

The emotional material is deliberately restrained rather than melodramatic, which suits the tone.

​

10. Climax, Resolution & Franchise Value — Score: 9.3 / 10

• The White House climax pays off numerous earlier elements rather than relying on a new solution introduced at the end.

• Cathleen's infiltration pays off George's involvement.

• The Seal's metal containment rule enables the theft.

• Winston's mercury ammunition pays off.

• Hamidi's powers pay off through the force field rather than allowing him simply to defeat Ethen.

• Cathleen's retained final bullet gives the actual killing blow to the human protagonist.

• Ethen calling Hamidi “Angel” advances the larger mythology without forcing an explanation.

• Most importantly, the film completes its own story: Ethen is destroyed and the Seal is disposed of.

• The Lake Tana ending creates particularly strong visual symmetry: the Seal emerges from the earth at the beginning and disappears beneath water at the end.

• Cerberus establishes the larger trilogy threat without hijacking this film's ending.

The denouement also gives the supporting characters proper closure. George and Winston's final exchange leads naturally into the return to Ethiopia, while the reunion with Liya and the graves of Ajani and the others allow the film to finish emotionally before the Seal is finally discarded.

​

FINAL COMPOSITE SCORE: 9.1 / 10

​

What This Score Means

• 7.5–8.2 → Quarterfinalist / Semifinalist territory

• 8.3–8.7 → Strong Semifinalist / Fringe Finalist

• 8.8–9.2 → Legitimate Finalist Contender

• 9.3+ → Rare consensus-level Finalist

 

I would place Triumvirate 2 firmly in Finalist-contender territory.

​

If it failed to progress with a particular competition reader, I think the likely reasons would be more about taste than fundamental craft: resistance to overt supernatural politics, the deliberately heightened depiction of authoritarian institutional collapse, or a reader preferring a smaller and more grounded thriller.

​

It would be much less likely to fall short because of structure, protagonist agency or payoff. Those are now among the screenplay's strongest areas.

​

Bottom Line

Triumvirate 2 feels bigger, faster and more overtly cinematic than the first film without becoming merely spectacle-driven. Its strongest achievement is that the supernatural and political stories are essentially the same story: Ethen's demonic ability embodies his power to persuade, condition and ultimately remove people's willingness to resist.

​

It demonstrates particularly strong control of antagonist, escalation, character voice, setup/payoff, mythology and climax. Cathleen's expanded agency is crucial: the film ultimately isn't resolved because the supernatural hero becomes stronger than the supernatural villain. It is resolved because a group of people contribute different pieces of the solution — and Cathleen is the one who finally pulls the trigger.

​

Overall: 9.1 / 10 — a very strong, commercially distinctive supernatural political thriller.

​